Finding Joy in the Garden of Disabilities and Special Needs
I kneel in my garden bed. It has been freshly tilled and spread with a layer of composted manure. We have an ample supply, given that we have four horses on our farm. As rust-breasted bluebirds flit to-and-from nearby nesting boxes, I’m thinking about raising vegetables, flowers, and kids with special needs for the past […]
Finding True Rest As A Caregiver
A cedar tree trunk, its branches stripped, serves as a railing along the stairs to our master bedroom. I welcome its invitation to help me pull myself up. I am tired. Bone tired. My back and legs ache. Once in bed, I feel the cotton sheets and the cool night breeze wafting in from the […]
Making Every Day a Great Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day 2021 has come and gone. Yet I linger thinking about my mother. In Part 1 of this two-part blog piece, I expressed what it was like to lose my mother suddenly on Mother’s Day 2002. Today, I talk about ways we can make every day a mini-Mother’s Day. Because a healthy, happy mother […]
Making Every Day a Great Mother’s Day (Part 1)
I called my mom on Mother’s Day morning, 2002. She thanked me for sending her favorite flowers—red carnations. We chatted excitedly about her upcoming move from Ohio to Wisconsin. In just a few short weeks, she would be within five minutes of our family. We hadn’t been closer than a whole day’s drive for 45 […]
Out of Africa [About Covid-19 and Raising Kids with Special Needs]: Part 2
We returned to a world changed suddenly and dramatically. Masks, social distancing, school and business closings, job losses, blaming, shaming, raw nerves flaring. From bliss to this? Shocking, to say the least. So what can an awe-inspiring African safari and a frightful Covid-19 pandemic teach us about living with and raising kids with special needs? […]
Out of Africa [About Covid-19 and Raising Kids with Special Needs]
One year ago, on March 1, my husband, my 87-year-old father, and I boarded a KLM flight from Chicago to Tanzania (via Amsterdam) for a two-week African safari. After a year of planning and excited anticipation, we were about to experience the most marvelous part of creation we had ever witnessed (except for having kids?). […]
Ways We Hold Hope in the Loss and Grief of Disabilities
In 1997, a 6-year-old girl stood on the threshold of the room where Todd and I sat waiting, hearts beating wild with anticipation. She wore a red velvet dress with matching bow in her brown hair. Next to her stood a boy wearing a pink Lion King sweatshirt. We learned he would turn 4 the […]
Three Tips for Keeping Your Marriage Together (and Having Fun!)
Maybe your marriage is one where you feel only slight stress on occasion while loving and raising your special needs child/children. If so, I’m thrilled for you! But that’s not me. My husband and I, nearing our 26th anniversary, are also nearing our 22nd anniversary of adopting three kids from Russia, all with permanent, multiple, […]
4 Ways Caretakers Can Take Care (Part 2 of 2)
Hi again! In Part 1, I talked about using The Serenity Prayer to keep a proper perspective. I also talked about the need for self-care and gave some examples of what has helped me over the years. Today, I’m sharing two more ways we can take care of ourselves. Come along with me over […]
4 Ways Caretakers Can Take Care (Part 1 of 2)
While walking along our farm trails last fall, Anna picked a milkweed pod from its stem, cradling it in her delicate hands. The covering was dried and cracked. Its innards, silky white wings with dark seeds attached, took flight on the breeze as Anna opened the dead tombs. Hundreds of seeds, all with the […]
Stop Making Self-Care for Caregiving a Dirty Word
Jolene Philo is the author of several books including Different Dream: A Practical Guide to Raising a Child with Special Needs. (Click on the title to find on Amazon). Jolene and I have both raised kids with special needs. We both know the toll of long-term caregiving. Her wise words are a balm for weary caregivers everywhere. […]
I Didn’t Want a Different Dream
My friend and fellow author, Jolene Philo, runs a helpful website dedicated to special needs kids and their caretakers. I’ve read all her books and have found her knowledge extremely helpful on my own journey in caring for special needs kids that led to my own special needs. After 21 years (this month) of caring […]