The Mix of Mother’s Day Emotions
On the cusp of this Mother’s Day, I remember my worst Mother’s Day. Sometimes, I still wake in a sweat, heart pounding, reaching for the phone. “I need to call my mom,” I think. And then, in an instant, I remember reality. I put the phone down on my nightstand. In 2022, My mother was […]
Finding Meaning & Hope in Life’s Burns
On a sunny spring morning with nearly no breeze, I stood in the still-dormant grass of the ditch just a half-mile up from our home. I watched that old, white farmhouse burn. Flames swirled orange out of every window and door. I felt the heat on my face from across the street. Our 25-year-old son […]
Pieces of Eden: How to Find Joy in the Midst of Grief
This morning, Nick found the limp body under a young pine by the horse riding arena. Rose stood at a distance, guilty, while Nick examined the fawn. Lifeless. Still warm. How can a dog I love so much do such a terrible thing? We’re not in Eden anymore. I am sad. The poor doe who […]
Loving and Forgiving Our Mothers this Mother’s Day
Hi Friends! I’m over at Jolene Philo’s Different Dream blog today for a special Mother’s Day piece I wrote. Hope you’ll join me there (link below). You won’t want to miss the surprise ending. Here’s the beginning: “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!” “You sent me flowers! They’re gorgeous! But you told me you weren’t going to […]
Why Falling Flat is A Holy Experience
We call him Mr. Lime because he’s the brightest of all on the slopes, dressed in brilliant green to match his Burton board. He reminds me often that he’s not one of us. “I’m a BOARDER, Mom! Not a SKIER!” “Yes dear, you’re not like the other four of us. I forgot. Once again.” He […]
#MeToo And Then Some
Who would win Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year”? Who would be revealed on last Wednesday’s cover. For the first time ever, I was curious. Turns out, the “winner” isn’t a person, per se. Turns out, the “winner” is . . . The #MeToo movement—a movement that has become a tsunami of women standing up […]
Packs and The Lone Wolf—How to Deal with the Deadly, Including Ourselves
Electric races lightening fast through my nerves around 9:30 p.m. A pack of coyotes starts yipping and barking. They are close. Very close. Right on the edge of the densely wooded ravine next to our log home. My heart thumps hard in my chest. The eerie sounds of the pack grip me as I stand […]
The Wedding That Eclipsed the Eclipse
We stood on the concrete driveway, two of our three grown kids and me. Anna and Nick stared up at the cloud-covered sky as our bare feet soaked up the warmth from the sun we couldn’t see. I looked around. The grass seemed greener. The swallows flocked together. The temperature dropped. Though not completely dark, […]
Why We Really Need Jesus To Clean Us
The older I get, the more I recognize my depravity, the deep-down dirty of my thoughts, words and deeds, of my even deeper motivations and instincts. And the older I get, the more I know my need of Jesus. Kind of like Paul in Romans . . . I do not understand what I do. […]
Sicker Than A Dog
I was sicker than a dog last week. That is, until my dog got sick the day after. I think I poisoned myself with some bad beef. Not pretty. Next morning, I read the directions on the package . . . Eat within 5 days after opening. I did the math, in the aftermath of […]
When Mother’s Day Reminds You of Death—The Way to Find Life
Mother’s Day, 2002 I called my mother to make sure she received the dozen red carnations I sent as a surprise. “They’re gorgeous! But you said you weren’t sending me flowers for Mother’s Day this year because of the bench.” “I know. But you’ve always told me flowers should be given to the living, not […]
Encouragement for the Broken and Stigmatized
I stepped out of the shadows and declared—on Facebook—during Holy Week—that I was suffering with clinical depression. I had hit the hard floor of desperation on Wednesday before Maundy Thursday in the midst of a medication change, one of several I’d been through over the past twenty years. So why did I dare post and […]