Some Scenes of the Seen
She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.” Genesis 16:13-14 SCENE ONE: It goes like this . . . Years ago I sat on the kitchen floor in front of an […]
What To Do With A Snafu
I am experiencing a royal snafu involving my doctor’s office, my pharmacy and my insurance company which has kept me from getting the medication dosage I need for four days. You see, I diagnosed myself years ago and my physician confirmed. I have GAD—Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Medication helps. I also have had a couple major […]
When You Feel Like The Edges Of Your Life Are Crumbling And You Need Solid Anchors
I stood on the edge of a cliff wondering whether the rock would hold me if I ventured too far to the edge. From my high vantage point, I could see the vast array of autumn colors and the large lake down below—Devil’s Lake. I saw men and women with ropes anchored in rock, thrown […]
Some Thoughts on Dying When You Feel Like It and the Hope That Stops You
It is late September. The sugar maple is tinged with fire, a burning mix of orange and red and yellow, engulfing the green. Honking Vs of geese fly over the barn. One yellowed leaf curls on the grass. Three Sandhill cranes lift off alfalfa field, warbling their way into the air, a trinity created by […]
Faith, Not Feelings (and sometimes some medication)
I’ll be real here. I was struggling with feelings the past two days. Ever been there? After a week of pretty much nonstop caring for two injured kids on pain meds and doing all the farm chores they usually do but can’t, I’m tired. Despite my best efforts to pray, coach myself with scripture, exercise, […]
Baring the Soul
I have decided to blog only two days per week for a while—Tuesdays and Thursdays—as I will be investing heart and time in another writing project since returning from Alaska. If you haven’t already subscribed to my blog and would like to receive notifications of each new post in your email, simply scroll down to the bottom of […]
When Depression Hits Hard (All in One Day)
Three wonderful women. Three women struggling to hold on. Three women who have been through the wringer of life. Three women—all my friends. And I sat with all three in one day, separately. One woman’s loss is enormous. An adult daughter lost to cancer last September after watching her wither away, bit-by-bit for two years. […]
Up from the Ashes
I have Phoenix on my mind for two reasons. First, we’re going there. Fifteen days and counting. Second, I am one. I am a phoenix. In Egyptian mythology the phoenix was a bird that consumed itself with fire and, after 500 years, rose renewed from its ashes. I have not been literally consumed by fire […]
I AM
Bottomless, terrifying darkness shrouds mind and weights chest with invisible, yet tangible heaviness. Breath hurts. Heart aches. Free-falling fast into depressive depths never known. Anxious, sleepless, seemingly endless nights taunt. And you think you’re a Christian! Look at you. You’re a pathetic mess. You’re never going to climb out of THIS pit. YOU ARE—unknown and […]