Finding Joy in the Garden of Disabilities and Special Needs
I kneel in my garden bed. It has been freshly tilled and spread with a layer of composted manure. We have an ample supply, given that we have four horses on our farm. As rust-breasted bluebirds flit to-and-from nearby nesting boxes, I’m thinking about raising vegetables, flowers, and kids with special needs for the past […]
The Importance of Self-Care for Caregivers, Part 2
Hi friends! Today, I’m over at my friend Jolene Philo’s blog with the second part of a series on the importance of self-care for caregivers that I’ve practiced for decades. I hope you’ll find some of these ideas helpful to you on your caregiving journey. Jolene prefaces my piece with this: The importance of self-care […]
The Mountains of Special Needs Parenting
In August, my husband Todd and I hiked the Highline trail in Glacier National Park. As the name of the trail implies, the path cut along the side of a mountain and was so narrow near the beginning that a thick wire cable drilled into the rock served as a handrail, lest a misstep cause […]
Finding True Rest As A Caregiver
A cedar tree trunk, its branches stripped, serves as a railing along the stairs to our master bedroom. I welcome its invitation to help me pull myself up. I am tired. Bone tired. My back and legs ache. Once in bed, I feel the cotton sheets and the cool night breeze wafting in from the […]
Making Every Day a Great Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day 2021 has come and gone. Yet I linger thinking about my mother. In Part 1 of this two-part blog piece, I expressed what it was like to lose my mother suddenly on Mother’s Day 2002. Today, I talk about ways we can make every day a mini-Mother’s Day. Because a healthy, happy mother […]
Out of Africa [About Covid-19 and Raising Kids with Special Needs]: Part 2
We returned to a world changed suddenly and dramatically. Masks, social distancing, school and business closings, job losses, blaming, shaming, raw nerves flaring. From bliss to this? Shocking, to say the least. So what can an awe-inspiring African safari and a frightful Covid-19 pandemic teach us about living with and raising kids with special needs? […]
Out of Africa [About Covid-19 and Raising Kids with Special Needs]
One year ago, on March 1, my husband, my 87-year-old father, and I boarded a KLM flight from Chicago to Tanzania (via Amsterdam) for a two-week African safari. After a year of planning and excited anticipation, we were about to experience the most marvelous part of creation we had ever witnessed (except for having kids?). […]
What To Do With Screaming Fear and Searing Grief
Right in the middle of our country road, a couple hundred yards from our farm’s gravel drive, past ravine with creek winding and pines soaring, a woman collapses into my arms sobbing, screaming, pulling her hair side-ways hard. HE’S DEAD! HE’S DEAD! I KNOW HE’S DEAD! I didn’t know her. She looked 30-something, physically fit, […]
Three Tips for Keeping Your Marriage Together (and Having Fun!)
Maybe your marriage is one where you feel only slight stress on occasion while loving and raising your special needs child/children. If so, I’m thrilled for you! But that’s not me. My husband and I, nearing our 26th anniversary, are also nearing our 22nd anniversary of adopting three kids from Russia, all with permanent, multiple, […]
4 Ways Caretakers Can Take Care (Part 2 of 2)
Hi again! In Part 1, I talked about using The Serenity Prayer to keep a proper perspective. I also talked about the need for self-care and gave some examples of what has helped me over the years. Today, I’m sharing two more ways we can take care of ourselves. Come along with me over […]
4 Ways Caretakers Can Take Care (Part 1 of 2)
While walking along our farm trails last fall, Anna picked a milkweed pod from its stem, cradling it in her delicate hands. The covering was dried and cracked. Its innards, silky white wings with dark seeds attached, took flight on the breeze as Anna opened the dead tombs. Hundreds of seeds, all with the […]
Stop Making Self-Care for Caregiving a Dirty Word
Jolene Philo is the author of several books including Different Dream: A Practical Guide to Raising a Child with Special Needs. (Click on the title to find on Amazon). Jolene and I have both raised kids with special needs. We both know the toll of long-term caregiving. Her wise words are a balm for weary caregivers everywhere. […]