He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not.
When I was a young girl, my friends and I went hunting for daisies in the field behind our house and when we found one, we plucked the petals till there was only one left, hoping to end on . . .
He loves me.
Such wishful, magical thinking! As if a flower could foretell our destiny. But we hoped hard.
And we grew up. Some of us are still looking for that happy ending where we find the love we’ve always hoped for. We can’t bear the pain of discovering he loves me not or she loves me not or they love me not because what would that say about us? We’re not lovable? We’re not worthy? There’s something wrong with us? Someone else is better?
Married at 21 and divorced at 28, my first husband decided he loved me not. I was plucked complete, not one single petal left—at least that’s how I felt. Alone and unloved and unrecognizable as the flower I thought I once was, I gave up on love and I even gave up on believing God loved me, for a time.
And then came another, five years later—a man who sought me when I was still too scared to trust again. He saw white petals I thought were forever gone. Because when we’ve been plucked so completely and thrown to the ground, how do we still see our beauty? How do we find the ability to love again—to trust again? Who can reconnect petals and breathe back life into a cut and withered flower?
But just because we’ve been pulled apart by someone—by anyone—we don’t have to listen to lies. We can choose to listen to truth about who we are—about our worth and lovability.
No matter how badly we’ve been plucked by people—even if we see no petals left—God can grow new petals and make us bloom more brilliantly than before. He can do this! I know. He has done this for me. Because when we put all our faith in the One—the only One who always keeps His promise to never leave us or forsake us—we gain a peace that allows us to venture into uncertainty again—to open ourselves to love again, to trust again. The only way to hold onto love in this life is to hold onto God.
When my soul finds rest in God alone, I am free to love and be loved, because I am set free from fear.
He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not. Humans can be so fickle.
But with Jesus . . .
no matter where we start,
no matter how much we’re plucked,
we always end the same . . .
He loves me.
He loves you.
Completely and forever.
This very day, we can walk away from fear by walking toward Jesus. He stands at the door of our hearts. All we need do is open. And as for these daisies here—they’re still blooming in our fallen garden!
Perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. I John 4:18